Have you ever had to inhale deeply before speaking with your colleague or client because you know it will be a frustrating interaction? They have trouble understanding you and you have trouble understanding them; the interaction just doesn't work.
Thankfully, there's also the other end of the spectrum where the conversation just flows. You just understand each other; sometimes without even speaking. Unfortunately, many interactions don't happen that way. So, how can DISC help?
DISC helps us build self-awareness of our own style and how we show up to others. Are you open and chatty? Would you be surprised if others described you as someone who talks too much and is overly emotional?
DISC also helps you to identify the preferred communication style of others. Now, you have valuable information to make better decisions on how to adjust your style effectively.
Let's look at how each main style prefers to communicate and how to get your message across.
D-styles are most comfortable when they are in control; dominating the interaction. They speak and you are expected to listen. When the roles are reversed, they tend to be impatient listeners. As an independent, task-focused style, they can ignore input from others. They are more direct; which can come across as blunt and insensitive to others who don't speak their language. D-styles express their opinions as facts; expecting no further discussion.
In this day and age, we are communicating more and more across a variety of platforms. DISC can help you better identify virtual styles of others.
When emailing D-styles, keep it succinct and action-oriented; just tell them what they need to know and identify a call to action. Remember, their responses will be more direct and exhibit a demanding tone; telling you instead of asking you. Use the phone if it is more efficient, but keep it brief and be prepared. Virtual meetings may not be preferred by D-styles because it can take more time. Remember, to keep it brief, clearly identify goals, and provide actionable next steps.
We may assume communication is easier for I-styles, since they're naturally more social and talkative. However, it is not a given. DISC describes the I-styles behavioral preference for opportunities to interact with a variety of people. I-styles are charismatic and more focused on emotions over details and tasks. What DISC does not identify is their ability to communicate with people, only that they prefer to.
I-styles prefer avoiding unpleasant topics; preferring to focus on the positive. We often go to the I-style for positive feedback. However, they tend not to listen to details or for very long.
Don't overuse data or include too many details when emailing I-styles. Try to focus more on positivity and keep it friendly. Better yet, consider picking up the phone and calling them, but build in time to chat. I-styles respond well to live interactions such as phone calls and virtual meetings.
S-styles prefer communication in one-on-one settings where trust is built. They are amiable and patient listeners, but will usually answer your questions only when asked. They want time to understand your perspective. S-styles tend to speak calmly and talk about topics that they're familiar with; usually in detail.
S-style emails tend to be friendly and well thought out. They may sign off with, “Best regards” or “Sincerely,” instead of "thanks!" S-styles are the team players of the styles so they are more likely to use the pronouns, “we” or “us” over “I” and “me." They are more likely to ask you to do something rather than tell you. S-styles seek information so they can make the best decision for their teams.
Try providing reassurance by answering their questions carefully, and progressing step-by-step. When emailing the S-style try using plural form when addressing them, “we” or “you and your team”. Also, be sincere and if possible, build rapport. Don’t push them into quick decisions and be sure to follow up and do what you agreed upon.
C-styles prefer written communication; specifically, with a lot of details and fact-based information. They are more quiet, reserved, and diplomatic. C-styles may come across as timid because they tend not to speak or express disagreeing views. They are most comfortable discussing topics they have expertise with and avoid more abstract topics. They can be critical listeners, but so focused on details and correctness, they don't stand back and see the big picture.
C-styles prefer emails over face-to-face since they are naturally more reserved and more task-oriented. Their emails tend to be more detailed and formal. It is probably fact-checked and reviewed for punctuation so proofread your emails and answer their questions carefully or they will not be able to move forward. If you're calling or meeting virtually, try scheduling the call and letting them know what you'll be discussing ahead of time. Expect the C-style to be quieter, but provide them with opportunities to ask questions. Don't rush or move too quickly. Be sure to follow up and be prepared with supportive data.
DISC reinforces our communication style; how it may be different from other styles. It also helps us better identify the style of others so we can communicate in a more common language. Ask yourself if you need to speed it up or slow it down, use bullet points, or pick up the phone in your next interactions. Simple adjustments can alleviate the frustrations and enhance the opportunity to get your message across. Both sides end up benefiting through the exchange of productive information.